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english essay

The Writing Process

Writing A Paragraph

An Academic Paragraph:

Is a single block of writing

Starts with the main idea as a topic sentence (follow the prompt or refer to the question)

Continues with 3 supporting reasons

Each supporting reason has

W5 information as –

Details

Explanation

Two examples – One from the reading and one of your own

Use the full writing Process:

1) Prewriting

A. Read

B. Freewrite

C. One other form of prewriting

2) Outline

First outline

Read comments

Revise outline as necessary

3) Draft – Write from the latest outline. Do not stop to check language and so on.

4) Revise – Revise for:

Unity – is it all one topic?

Support – is there specific information (evidence)?

Coherence – Does it make sense?

5) Edit – Check language, spelling, punctuation, format, labelling

Write full, “clean” copy to submit

A Student Model – Kindly Offered by a Previous Student

Step 1 – Prewrite

A. Read the readings and choose 1 for the assignment.

This student chose, “My Financial Career” by Stephen Leacock

B. Freewrite:

My financial career freewriting √

 

This story reminded me of situations in my first few years living in Canada where a prompt response was expected and I did not have it. The most directly related situation would be when I went to the bank and they asked me questions I did not understand, I would say pardon me? And they would repeat themselves and I still wouldn’t understand what they were talking about. My next move would always be to say yes, smile and hope for the best. Another situation of this sort I can think of is in restaurants. Waiters are usually in a rush and sometimes I didn’t get what they asked. This caused me to have some unwanted dishes but most were still good, it is always fun to try something new. After thinking about these experiences, I realized that most people were probably willing to take their time in explaining me what was going on. After all, if they tried to do the same in other language they are likely to struggle a bit. Years have gone by and my English has improved substantially over this period of time. I still have a lot to learn but if I had tried to avoid this complicated and scary situations as much as possible I would not have improved this much.

 

Step 1 – Prewriting, continued

Step 1 B. Choose another form of prewriting:

Listing:

Fast paced stressful situations:

1.- Going to the bank

-words I am not familiar with

-High stakes, it involves money

-possible line up behind you

-some distrust when being offered deals

 

2.- Eating at a restaurant

-not familiar with some options or specific words

-sometimes cannot understand fast talking of waiters

-people talking loudly difficult communication

3.- conversations with people you do not know (i.e. elevator, cab driver)

-sometimes use words I cannot understand or do not know

-culturally different from what I am used to

Step 1 – Prewriting, continued

The student even decided to do a bit more to be sure the writing would be clear.

Note that the more idea-producing work students do before writing, the more efficient the actual writing will become.

Eating at a restaurant:

Some words waiters use are not in my vocabulary

i.e. I didn’t know what sleeves( for coffee) were called

Sometimes I do not know what the dishes are

i.e. I needed my girlfriend to explain what the dishes at Grand Pre’s fancy restaurant meant

Waiters tend to talk very fast when the restaurant is full making it harder for me to understand

I also feel under pressure to respond fast

When the restaurant is full and people are talking communication gets more complicated

Step 2 – Construct and Outline: Original Outline – Original Outline (1)  

Topic sentence: Stephen Leacock’s story “My Financial Career” shows that situations that usually require a fast response can be stressful, causing you to be more prone to making mistakes.

Supporting reason#1: answer without understanding the question

Details and Explanation: You can feel pressured to answer when situations require a fast response, causing you to say the first thing that comes to mind without really understanding what has been asked o you

Example 1: In the lecture, the author mentions that he asked for the manager at the bank instead of talking to a clerk. It seems like he was under pressure so he did not think of asking what to do.

Example 2: The last time I went to Paddy’s the waiter asked if we wanted ketchup. The people I was with all said no thanks so I said the same, but I had not understood the question. I would have liked some ketchup.

What? Who? Where? When? How?

Supporting reason#2: Expected to know what they are talking about

Details and Explanation: In some particular situations you can feel that you are expected to know what they are talking about, causing you to pretend knowing that is going on to make things less complicated when having interactions.

Example 1: In the lecture the author talks about not knowing what was happening during the deposit process.

Example 2: When I opened my bank account in Canada they took me in a room with some type of manager. He was offering me different plans with different rates and I did not understand what they meant. I picked the one with no fee since it could have not been that bad.

 

Original Outline (2)

Supporting reason#3: higher possibility of making mistakes

Details and Explanation: When you are under pressure the likelihood of making a mistake increases. Sometimes it can be embarrassing to recognize and correct that mistake, especially when you are expected to know what is going on.

Example 1: The author remarks that he made a mistake when drawing a check, writing $56 instead of $6. Since he felt on the spot he did not correct his mistake, but instead went with it making him look even worse.

Example 2: I use my mother’s card to pay for things I need that are expensive and do not need to be purchased all the time like books or furniture. Once I went to Walmart to buy a chair and some drawers. The line was long and I gave the clerk the wrong card, which I noticed after she had swiped. I just remained quiet and took the economic blow to my day to day personal account.

Conclusion: We can conclude that “My Financial Career” by Stephen Leacock illustrates how situations that require fast responses can be stressful leading to embarrassing mistakes.

 

Step 2 – Continued Outline with comment

The student received the outline back with comments (which do not show up on this version). Some of the comments advised to separate details and explanations and to make some lines shorter with just main ideas

Comments show that the original outline was too long. The student revised it:

Topic sentence: Stephen Leacock’s story “My Financial Career” shows that situations that usually require a fast response can be stressful, causing you to bemore prone to making mistakes.

 Supporting reason#1: answer without understanding the question

Details : You can feel pressured to answer when situations require a fast response,

Explanation: This causes you to say the first thing that comes to mind without really understanding what has been asked to you

Example 1: In the lecture, the author mentions that he asked for the manager at the bank instead of talking to a clerk. It seems like he was under pressure so he did not think of asking what to do.

Example 2: The last time I went to Paddy’s the waiter asked if we wanted ketchup but I was confused. [The original was much longer so the comment was to make it more “succinct”.]

Step 2, Continued: Revised outline: This shows a portion of the outline that the student revised

Supporting reason#2: Expected to know what they are talking about

Details: In some particular situations you can feel that you are expected to know what they are talking about,

Explanation: you to pretend knowing that is going on to make things less complicated when having interactions.

Example 1: In the story the author talks about not knowing what was happening during the deposit process.

Example 2: When I opened my bank account in Canada they took me in a room with some type of manager. He was offering me different plans with different rates and I did not understand what they meant. I picked the one with no fee since it could have not been that bad.  

Supporting reason#3: higher possibility of making mistakes

Details: When you are under pressure the likelihood of making a mistake increases.

Explanation : Sometimes it can be embarrassing to recognize and correct that mistake, especially when you are expected to know what is going on. Use a short phrase

Example 1: The author remarks that he made a mistake when drawing a check, writing $56 instead of $6. Since he felt on the spot he did not correct his mistake, but instead went with it making him look even worse. Use a short phrase

Example 2: Anxious when I used my mother’s car and used the wrong credit card at Walmart.

Conclusion: We can conclude that “My Financial Career” by Stephen Leacock illustrates how situations that require fast responses can be stressful leading to embarrassing mistakes.

Step 3 – First Draft: – Still Too long: The student wrote a first draft by following the outline.

Stephen Leacock’s story “My Financial Career” shows that situations that commonly require a fastly response can be stressful, causing you to be more prone to making mistake. For instance, when you get asked a question were a fast answer is expected you might feel pressured to answer without even understanding the question. This can result in answering the first thing that comes to mind, which could be unwanted, weird or even disrespectful. A similar situation can be observed in the reading “my financial career” when the author ask for bank manager instead of a clerk for open common account, likely due to anxiety. I can recall a good example from a real life experience. While having breakfast at Paddy’s, we got asked if we wanted ketchup and since everyone answered no I followed the crowd and said no without understanding the question. I ended up eating plain, bland home fries. Some fast paced situations are common for most people, therefore it is expected what everyone knows what is happening, which is not always the case. The few that are not familiar with the process can put those sixth grade theatre classes into practice and pretend they do understand to avoid awkward scenarios. This, of course can lead to big misunderstandings that are usually more awkward than asking. In my financial career the author confesses that he does not understand the deposit process but says nothing to the clerks. A similar experienced occurred to me when I opened my first account in Canada. I was offered different plans with complex rates and fees that I was unfamiliar with at the time. Naturally I went with the non-fee option naively thinking I was not going to let the bank take money from me. Accelerated situations increase the likelihood of making a mistake. Sometimes such mistaks can be simple and easy to correct but they could also be embarrassinand painful. In my financial career, author remark how he made mistake when drawing a check, writing $56 instead of $6. The former was total amount in his account, which was withdrawn he did not admit his mistake, making him look even worse. A similar situation occurred to me when I went in Wal-Mart to buy some furniture. For this type of purchases I am supposed to use my mother’s card as opposed to my day-to-day account. That afternoon the line was long, getting me a bit rattled. When I finally get to cashier, in rush of the moment I gave them my personal account card. I did not correct my mistake but instead took the blow on my finances. We can conclude that “My Financial Career” by Stephen Leacock illustrates how situations that require fast responses can be stressful leading to embarrassing mistakes.

Step 4 – Revising: Some of the revisions show on this draft. Normally, Writers revise at least 2-3 times

Stephen Leacock’s story “My Financial Career” shows that situation that commonly require a fast response can be stressful, causing you to be more prone to making mistakes. For instance, when you get asked a question where a fastly reply is expected, you might feel pressuring to answer without understanding the question. This result in answer with the first thing that comes to mind, could be unwanted, strange, or even disrespectful. A similar situation can be observed in the reading “My Financial Career,” when the author ask for bank manager instead of clerk for opening a regular account, likely due to ignorance on the process and to anxiety Same as me an example from a real life experience, having breakfast at Paddy’s, we got asked we wanted ketchup, and since everyone answered no I followed the crowd and said no without understanding the question. I ended up eating plain, home fries. Some typical fast paced situations can be common for most people, therefore it is expected that everyone else knows what is happening, which is not always the case. The few that are not familiar with the specific process can put those sixth grade theatre classes into practice and pretend they do understand to avoid [reword] This may cause awkward scenarios. This, of course, can lead to big misunderstandings that are usually more awkward than simply asking questions. In “My Financial Career,” the author confesses that he does not understand the deposit process but says nothing to the clerks to avoid embarrassment. A similar experience occurred to me when I opened my first bank account in Canada. I was offered different plans with complex rates and fees that I was unfamiliar with at the time. Naturally I went with the non-fee option, naively thinking I was not going to let the bank take money from me. [too long] Accelerated situations increase the likelihood of making a mistake. Sometimes such mistakes can be simple and easy to correct but they can also be embarrassing and painful. People must learn to pace new situations so they don’t miss important information. In “My Financial Career,” the author remarks that he made a mistake when drawing a check, writing $56 instead of $6. The former was the total amount in his account, which was withdrawn since he did not admit his mistake, making him look even worse. [too long] A similar situation occurred to me when I went to Wal-Mart to buy some furniture. For this type of expensive purchase I am supposed to use my mother’s card as opposed to my day-to-day account. That afternoon the line was long, getting me a bit rattled. When I finally got to the cashier, in the rush of the moment, I gave them my personal account card. I did not correct my mistake but instead took the blow to my finances so that I could get it over with. [too long] We can conclude that “My Financial Career,” by Stephen Leacock illustrates how situations that require fast responses can be stressful leading to embarrassing mistakes.

Step 5 – Editing: The student went over the work to fix language and other writing issues.

Stephen Leacock’s story “My Financial Career” shows that situations that commonly require a fast response can be stressful. When you get asked a question where a fast reply is expected, you might feel pressured to answer without understanding the question. This can result in answering with the first thing that comes to mind, which could be unwanted, strange, or even disrespectful. A similar situation can be observed in the reading “My Financial Career,” when the author asks for the bank manager instead of a clerk for opening a regular account. Once, while having breakfast at Paddy’s, my friends and I didn’t understand what ketchup was, so I ended up eating plain, bland home fries. In some fast-paced situations not everyone knows what is happening. This can lead to awkward scenarios. The results can be embarrassing. In “My Financial Career,” the author confesses that he does not understand the deposit process but says nothing to the clerks to avoid embarrassment. When I first opened a bank account in Canada, the many options confused me so that I did not make a good choice and had more fees than I expected. Accelerated situations increase the likelihood of making a mistake. Sometimes such mistakes can be simple and easy to correct but they can also be embarrassing and painful. In the story, the author felt so rushed that he made a mistake, taking out his entire $56 instead of the $6 he intended. A similar situation occurred to me when I used the wrong account to buy furniture at Walmart, so emptied a personal account instead of using a credit card. “My Financial Career,” by Stephen Leacock illustrates how situations that require fast responses can be stressful leading to embarrassing mistakes.

Final Version: After revising and editing

Stephen Leacock’s story “My Financial Career” shows that situations that commonly require a fast response can be stressful. When you get asked a question where a fast reply is expected, you might feel pressured to answer without understanding the question. This can result in answering with the first thing that comes to mind, which could be unwanted, strange, or even disrespectful. A similar situation can be observed in the reading “My Financial Career,” when the author asks for the bank manager instead of a clerk for opening a regular account. Once, while having breakfast at Paddy’s, my friends and I didn’t understand what ketchup was, so I ended up eating plain, bland home fries. In some fast-paced situations not everyone knows what is happening. This can lead to awkward scenarios. The results can be embarrassing. In “My Financial Career,” the author confesses that he does not understand the deposit process but says nothing to the clerks to avoid embarrassment. When I first opened a bank account in Canada, the many options confused me so that I did not make a good choice and had more fees than I expected. Accelerated situations increase the likelihood of making a mistake. Sometimes such mistakes can be simple and easy to correct but they can also be embarrassing and painful. In the story, the author felt so rushed that he made a mistake, taking out his entire $56 instead of the $6 he intended. A similar situation occurred to me when I used the wrong account to buy furniture at Walmart, so emptied a personal account instead of using a credit card. “My Financial Career,” by Stephen Leacock illustrates how situations that require fast responses can be stressful leading to embarrassing mistakes.

Ta-Da! The Complete Writing Process!

 

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